EMMIE’s Guide to a Great Halloween Costume
WORDS BY EMMIE STAFF, ART BY Bella Lawson
Skeleton
Is there any costume more musical than the humble skeleton? Many would say so. Yet, I believe that the skeleton is the most musical costume of all. Each and every one of us has a bones man inside, and that bones man is the foundation of our bodies, keeping our muscles, blood, and organs in the right places. Music is in many ways the same, existing as a foundation for all of human culture. So as the skeleton is to a man, music is to humanity itself. Dress up like a skeleton this Halloween. You will be more musical than you know. Or do the xylophone ribs thing.
–Oliver Gerharz
Boygenius
Two words… well, one word - Boygenius. You and your besties can go full on holy trinity, and I don’t mean that as a reference to their costumes last year. I know you all have a short brunette friend (or you ARE the short brunette friend), a medium-sized blonde friend, and your tall brunette bestie who can pull off a red lip like it’s nobody’s business. Grab your best suits - or thrift them because who owns suits anymore - and maybe throw in an inflatable guitar. Worse comes to worst, people will think you’re Nirvana from that iconic Rolling Stones cover, but is that such a bad thing?
–Paige Kearney
Drake Costume from Kendrick’s Perspective
Great Halloween costumes are often timely. We had many Barbies and Kens last year, and many Mavericks from Top Gun the year prior. What is more timely for 2024 than the Drake and Kendrick Lamar beef? To nail this costume, stick to the elements that Kendrick specifically mentions. We will start from the top down, with the hairstyle being “the braids,” of course. Kendrick implies on “Euphoria” that Drake would probably rather wear Tommy Hilfiger than FUBU, so let’s throw on a Tommy polo as well. Although Kendrick is not a fan of the fact that Drake purchased a ruby and diamond ring formerly owned by Tupac, he specifically mentions it, so onto the finger it goes. In “Not Like Us,” Lamar states that Drake and his crew will, “get a wedgie.” To achieve this effect, we can hot glue the back waistline of a pair of boxers to the mid-back of the polo shirt, ensuring that the wedgie stays in place for however long the costume is worn. The most disappointing part in all of this is that Kendrick never says anything about pants, but good thing Rick Ross decided to chime into this squabble, because at the very end of “Champagne Moments,” he hilariously calls out Drake for wearing Dockers. I know, I know, I said that this costume would be from Kendrick’s perspective, but come on, that mention of pants is like Damian Lillard hitting a buzzer-beater in the playoffs. Now we are all set to go out and enjoy Halloween. Don’t forget to straighten that posture!
–Nolan Majerowski
it’s just one of those days
Do you want a costume so sick it incites a riot this Halloween? Are you sick of the witches and cats of the world, and are ready to “Break Stuff”? Grab some baggy khakis and a t-shirt, and pop on a backwards baseball cap to achieve the perfect Fred Durst at Woodstock ‘99 costume. Top the look off by either shaving your existing facial hair into a gnarly goatee or drawing it on with whatever’s available. You can spend the night running around lighting stuff on fire and screaming about nothing in particular, if that’s your vibe. But wait, you need a costume for your entire friend group? I’ve got you covered! Have your friends strip down to their DC Sneakers and carry you around on a board of plywood. If they’re looking for something a little more modest, have them don a “Peace Patrol” yellow t-shirt and do absolutely nothing about the chaos you’re causing! Hey, no judgment - it’s just one of those days.
—Bailey Krause
Lady gaga meat dress
I always want Halloween to go full throttle in a Heidi Klum way. My proposition is this: the Lady Gaga meat dress. It’s iconic and will turn everyone’s head (maybe from the smell) but any press is good press. All you need is thousands of dollars worth of deli meat from Woodmans, some staples, a white blond bob wig and nerves on the level of a Navy SEAL to be walking around in that thing. Vegetarians should avoid.
–Aideen Gabbai
Weezer
Do you have three friends for a group costume? If you are a Weezer fan, probably not. But just for today, you too can pretend to be an active part of society! Grab your favorite button downs, khakis, and plain t-shirts. Pose awkwardly, but in a loveable way, and you are set for the night! Take action before someone says your costume “sucks,” or “doesn’t even look like Weezer.” The last thing you want to do is name three Weezer songs besides “Buddy Holly” and “Island in the Sun.” For extra recognizability, print off a comically large blue poster and stand in front of it all night. Maybe even bring a guitar to riff every so often. The world is your oyster.
–Erica Kallas
Bruno mars + Slot machine
Cute couples costume idea! Bruno Mars and his slot machine <3 it's okay he’s free now.
–Elijah Pines