How I’m Feeling Now, Charli XCX
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One of the first albums created entirely in quarantine, Charli XCX’s How I’m Feeling Now is an unprecedented feat in both creative collaboration and experiential expression.
Although this album was created in the confines of Charli’s private home, the creative process behind it was a public affair. Through Instagram, Twitter, YouTube and Zoom calls, Charli treated fans to song snippets, screenshots of conversations with producers, potential song lyrics and general updates on the album. Fans were encouraged to participate in the process by offering feedback, selecting photos for single artwork and sending in content for music videos. It seems that the transparency and collaboration which characterized the creation of this album were part of a unique response to the conditions of the current pandemic.
With no guest features, How I’m Feeling Now places all the emphasis on what Charli has to say. Despite the DIY nature of the creation of this album, Charli was still able to successfully express herself through the hyper-galactic glitter pop sound that was so well cemented in Charli, which was released in September 2019. The album begins boldly and loudly with the jangling beats and jam-packed production of “Pink Diamond.” This song feels like a push against the walls of confinement, as Charli repeatedly chants “I just wanna go real hard.” Following this first track are the sweeter sounds of singles “Forever” and “Claws,” which take on more of a pop persona. On “Forever,” dreamy vocals and gushy lyrics are paired with crashing synths to form an irresistible love song. In “Claws,” a bouncy video-game-like beat and addictive hook carry lovey-dovey lyrics through to a well-timed buildup of synths that closes the song off.
Charli delves deeper into her romantic side on “7 years,” an ode to her long-time boyfriend, Huck Kwong. This song makes strong use of layered vocals, highlighting Charli’s voice with perfectly placed fluctuations and echoes. The vulnerable expression of emotional experience in “7 years,” as well as the rest of the album, mirrors the public and openly honest nature of its creation. This is especially manifested in “Enemy,” which uses a recording of Charli’s voice from one of her therapy sessions during quarantine as an interlude. While the use of this recording sets the song apart, it is by no means the focal point of the track. The highlight is easily the subsequent beat drop that swiftly places the listener back into the delectable melody of the chorus.
A special nod is given to Charli in “c2.0,” which is essentially a less conventional sequel to “Click.” The song makes use of some of the same lyrics and grinding mechanical sounds from “Click,” but introduces a modern context with verses on the emotional ache of missing your clique while in quarantine. Besides “Pink Diamond,” the most obvious party anthem (pun intended) off this album is “Anthems,” co-produced by Danny L Harle and none other than Dylan Brady of 100 gecs. While Harle and Brady heighten the song’s hype with pulsing club beats, Charli delivers lyrics reminiscent of isolation-induced yearning and restlessness such as “I just wanna go to parties / Up high, wanna feel the heat from all the bodies.”
Despite the somewhat gloomy and hopeless tones present on this album, the final track, “Visions” closes this record off on a relatively high note that leaves the listener dancing to a rush of hard-hitting beats and uplifting synths. However, the last seconds of the song take a turn for a harsher, darker sound that may symbolize a lingering sense of anxiety and fear for the future.
This album serves well as a continuation of the sonic landscape that was solidified and celebrated with the release of Charli last year. Of course, How I’m Feeling Now feels slightly less polished, given the short time in which it was written, recorded and produced. With limitations in mind, this album is an impressive demonstration of creative willpower. It’s essentially Charli’s quarantine diary: a personal, restless and reflective attempt to make sense out of how she’s feeling now.